


do it gently

by flywithturtles (greenet)



Series: your lover and your friend (mushyfilth bingo) [3]
Category: Behind the Scenes!!
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Kiss, First Time, I am so so sorry y'all, Love Confessions, M/M, Outdoor Sex, This might be the first Behind the Scenes!! fic on Ao3, Tiny bits of angst because it's Ranmaru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-24 05:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6142972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenet/pseuds/flywithturtles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ranmaru is nervous. Well, he’s nervous a lot, still, that hasn’t really changed. It’s just how his mind works — he always goes for the most catastrophic reading of everything. He just tries to slow down a little, now. To remember that it’s not necessarily as bad as he thinks it is. That the Art Squad inexplicably seem to like him and find him useful. </p><p>Being liked is new and nice, but being useful makes him proud. It also seems safer, somehow. If he can keep fixing things, they probably won’t get tired of him. Right?</p><p>At the moment, though, he’s nervous because Riichi had grabbed Ranmaru by the sleeve of his jacket, dragged him along, away from the set, and shoved him into a secluded corner of the university ground Ranmaru had previously not been aware of existing, and now he’s frowning at Ranmaru.</p>
            </blockquote>





	do it gently

**Author's Note:**

> VeryTinyBingo: Mushy Filth: In Public. Well, they're not in private, soooo...
> 
> Inspired by volume one of _Behind the Scenes!!_ I'm going to be very surprised if it has anything at all to do with the rest of the manga. Ranmaru _is_ tiny and adorable and thinks everything is his fault, though!
> 
> Title from My Gun by Tove Lo

Ranmaru is nervous. Well, he’s nervous a lot, still, that hasn’t really changed. It’s just how his mind works — he always goes for the most catastrophic reading of everything. He just tries to slow down a little, now. To remember that it’s not necessarily as bad as he thinks it is. That the Art Squad inexplicably seem to like him and find him useful. 

Being liked is new and nice, but being useful makes him proud. It also seems safer, somehow. If he can keep fixing things, they probably won’t get tired of him. Right?

At the moment, though, he’s nervous because Riichi had grabbed Ranmaru by the sleeve of his jacket, dragged him along, away from the set, and shoved him into a secluded corner of the university ground Ranmaru had previously not been aware of existing, and now he’s frowning at Ranmaru. 

Now that Riichi and Ruka are friends, sort of, Riichi comes to them a lot more, mainly for outfits but also the occasional prop. As the resident newbie Ranmaru gets hauled along. He doesn’t mind that, so much. It’s just… It’s Riichi. He’s so… 

Ranmaru doesn’t think he can be like Riichi. But he doesn’t know anybody else who’s so obviously gay, and maybe he has to be neat and gossipy and a little mean in order to be gay? That seems weird. But he doesn’t know for sure, and there is no way he’s using the internet at home or at university to search for answers. What if somebody sees him? He’d die. He’d die for sure. 

So he watches Riichi, hoping that’ll give him some clues. 

Riichi is a lot nicer now that the whole Ruka-rejects-his-friendship thing has been resolved, but he’s still very particular about his costumes. He realizes pretty quickly that he can’t be _like_ Riichi, but he still keeps looking. He can’t help himself. He looks at Tomu too, sometimes, and Izumi. Not Goda so much, because Ranmaru is still mildly terrified of Goda. But he looks at boys, and imagines kissing them. Lately his eye keeps being drawn by Riichi though, more than anybody else. So he thinks probably he doesn’t have to be exactly like Riichi in order to be gay. Probably. Maybe he’s doing it wrong? But the liking guys more than girls has to be more important, right?

Ranmaru likes the way Riichi smiles, likes the way he’s always so sure about what he’s doing even if he changes his mind an hour later, likes the little gestures he makes to emphasize his points, he even finds himself liking Riichi’s fussiness over clothing and the way he expects people to read his mind when it comes to set details, which convinces Ranmaru that he’s doomed.

“Okay, what?” Riichi demands, hands on his hips, glaring at Ranmaru.

“I’m sorry!” Ranmaru says automatically, and then wonders what he’s sorry for. Probably he’s done something wrong, but he’s not sure what that could be right now. He looks down at the coat he’s holding. “…Did you want a different color?” he asks uncertainly. He’s sure he picked up the one Ruka had laid out, ready for the shoot, but maybe he’d made a mistake. 

“Forget about the movie,” Riichi says, waving a hand dismissively. 

That’s the first time anybody involved with filming on campus has ever said that to Ranmaru. He stares at Riichi. 

“And stop staring at me like I’m some kind of zoo exhibit!” Riichi adds. 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I was just— I…” Ranmaru doesn’t know how to explain. 

Riichi narrows his eyes. “Just?”

“You’re very… You’re very neat,” Ranmaru says weakly. “And clever, and sort of bitchy, but not in a bad way or anything, and your lips are very pink, and sometimes you look at Izumi, and I just wanted to… I don’t… I don’t know. I’m sorry.” His voice dies down and he just knows that Riichi is going to get mad and yell and probably hate Ranmaru forever, or at least until he graduates, and Ranmaru won’t be allowed to work on his movies any more, and Ruka and Goda will wonder why and what’s Ranmaru even going to say? He can’t possibly tell them this!

Riichi blinks at him. He cocks his hip and brings a hand up to touch his own lips. “Pink?” he says bemused. “The gloss is supposed to be transparent.” 

Ranmaru shrugs helplessly. Maasa is supposed to teach him about make up but so far she’s mostly taught him about blood and snot and gore. He doesn’t know anything about gloss, transparent or otherwise. 

“And I do not look at Izumi! That’s ridiculous!”

Ranmaru shrugs again, because, yeah, Riichi does, but a lot of people do. He’s not sure how to say that though, especially not since Riichi is starting to look both flustered and annoyed which probably means he’s about to start yelling. Ranmaru doesn’t like it when people yell at him. He hunches his shoulders a little in preparation. 

To his surprise, Riichi frowns at him instead. “Why do you care if I do, anyway? Not that I do!” 

“Um.” Ranmaru feels the blush creeping up to cover his face. “You’re the only one I… I guess it’s because I… Um.” 

Riichi looks confused for a brief moment, then he seems to understand. “Oh!” He tilts his head and studies Ranmaru. “I see.” 

Ranmaru scuffs his shoe awkwardly on the ground. The coat is heavy on his arm, but right now it’s also a protective shield, shielding him a little from Riichi. 

“You’re a cute kid,” Riichi says, his voice weirdly kind for once. “A little strange, but cute. I guess if you want to keep staring at me, to, I don’t know, find yourself or whatever, that’s fine, but you know I’m not the only one who’s going to get the wrong idea, right?” 

“…Wrong idea?”

“If they don’t think you’re staring because you hate me, or think I’m a freak, they might think you’re interested in me. That you’re attracted to me,” Riichi clarifies when Ranmaru just gapes at him. “In a dating sort of way?”

“But, but… I am?” Ranmaru stammers, tomato red in the face again. He’d thought that had been painfully obvious when he started babbling about how pink Riichi’s lips were. He really wants to kiss them. Nothing in his life so far has taught him how to deal with that — both wanting to and actually doing it. 

Riichi blinks. “..What?”

“I think you’re pretty? I’m sorry!”

“You— _Me_?”

Ranmaru nods miserably. 

Riichi stares at him. He seems more bewildered by this than Ranmaru would have expected. Riichi must have had boys confessing to him before? Probably none of them as hopelessly inept and hopelessly, well, hopeless as Ranmaru though. 

“Are you sure?” Riichi says after a small eternity. “You have a crush on _me_?”

“Yes. I’m sorry?” Ranmaru tries again. Apologizing usually helps smooth things over. He doesn’t think it’s wrong to like Riichi though. He’s not really sorry about that. He thinks it’s embarrassing and not something he really wants to talk to anybody about, least of all Riichi himself, but he doesn’t think it’s wrong. He’d feel the same if he had a crush on Ruka — It had taken him a couple of weeks to realize that the way his heart started beating like crazy was over Riichi, not Ruka. Once he’d realized it, however, a lot of things made more sense — he wouldn’t have wanted to talk to her about it either. Or anybody else, for that matter. 

But he’s a member of the Art Squad now, and he’s not going to run away. Even if the tomato red is probably permanent by now. 

“I did not expect that.” Riichi looks a little stunned. It’s honestly not a very good look on him, but Ranmaru finds it sort of cute anyway. He’s not sure what Riichi had expected. Maybe he’d thought Ranmaru had a crush on Izumi or something. 

Ranmaru abruptly decides that he’ll be bold, just this once. Live up to his role as a member of the Art Squad! He steps away to drape the coat carefully over the back of a bench — now that he thinks about it, this must be a prime spot for lovers to hide away; Hidden by a wall on one side, by a building on the other and a thick growth of trees and bushes making this little spot completely hidden from sight — and then goes to stand in front of Riichi, who hasn’t moved but keeps following his movement with his eyes, looking like he’s wondering what Ranmaru is up to. 

He takes a deep breath and reaches out a shaking hand to clasp Riichi by the shoulder, sliding his hand across the slender shoulder to cradle the back of Riichi’s neck. He’s trembling by the time he lifts his eyes to see what Riichi’s reaction is. Ranmaru doesn’t think he could take it if Riichi is laughing at him. He’s prepared for rejection and maybe pity, but he’s hoping Riichi will at least be a little kind about it. 

Riichi isn’t laughing. There’s a flush of pink high on his cheeks and he keeps blinking like he’s not sure what he’s seeing. Ranmaru looks down and sees that Riichi’s hands are curled in fists by his hips. Maybe he’s nervous too? Over Ranmaru? Ranmaru looks up again. “Can… Can I kiss you?” He’s a little impressed by himself for actually saying the words. A month ago he definitely wouldn’t have. 

“Yes,” Riichi says. “Yes, if you want.” He’s leaning down as he speaks, and Ranmaru tilts his head back and stretches a little, and he’s finally tasting the pink lips that have haunted his dreams of late. 

Riichi’s lips are sticky and wet — _gloss_ , Ranmaru thinks — and Riichi quickly takes control over the kiss once he realizes that Ranmaru has no idea what he’s doing. Ranmaru is grateful. He’s terrified of messing up Riichi’s hair, so he moves his hand back to Riichi’s shoulder, clinging on. His other hand is very lightly touching the small of Riichi’s back, just above his belt. He makes a startled sound when Riichi opens his mouth, a hand going up to Ranmaru’s jaw, tilting his face the way Riichi wants. 

This is so much better than his fantasies. 

He’s not sure why Riichi is going along with it, but he decides to enjoy it. Maybe Riichi will laugh and reject him afterwards, and that’s a humiliating thought, but Riichi hasn’t done that _yet_. This is possibly not the kind of situation Goda talks about when he shouts for Ranmaru to evolve and become a better self, but. Well. Whatever works? 

They kiss for a long time. It’s wetter than Ranmaru thought it would be, and he’s still not sure what to do with his hands, so he’s clinging helplessly to Riichi and hoping he’s not sweating too much. His face is still burning. He decides that he likes kissing. He’s not sure what to do with his tongue, but tries to copy what Riichi is doing. That seems to work well enough. Riichi gives a pleased little moan when Ranmaru does something he approves of. The sound sends shivers down his spine. 

Riichi has one hand in Ranmaru’s hair, which is nice, but the slim bangles on his wrist are digging into Ranmaru’s neck and that’s less nice. He doesn’t want Riichi to stop kissing him though, so he doesn’t say anything. 

They end up stumbling backwards a little until Ranmaru can lean up against the wall of whatever building they’re behind — Ranmaru thinks it might be just a corridor leading to some offices. Riichi is pulling him closer, pushing a leg between Ranmaru’s own, and running a hand down Ranmaru’s side in a way that’s almost ticklish, but combined it leaves Ranmaru whimpering with want into Riichi’s mouth. 

He’s dizzy and his entire body is tingling, blood rushing to where ever Riichi’s hands linger leaving Ranmaru hyperaware of Riichi’s touch. Blood is rushing to his cock as well. He’s been half-hard since Riichi started kissing him, nerves and hormones and want in a heady mix flowing through his body. Then both of Riichi’s hands land on his hips, and he’s pulling Ranmaru up towards him, and he’s rutting against Riichi’s thigh and he has to pull away from the kiss so he can whine pathetically. 

It’s embarrassing. 

He ducks his head down, tries to hide his burning cheeks and the open mouthed panting he’s doing from Riichi. 

Riichi’s hands still, and he ducks his head as well, trying to catch Ranmaru’s eyes. “Do you want to stop?”

Ranmaru shakes his head immediately. This is overwhelming, and much, much more than he’d guiltily fantasized about, but he doesn’t want to stop. What if this is the only chance he gets? 

“Okay.” Riichi curls his fingers over Ranmaru’s waistband, perfect polished nails scraping a little down Ranmaru’s stomach, making him twitch. “We have about fifteen minutes before we have to be back on set — with the coat, by the way, so don’t forget it — but I think we can make that count.” 

Riichi sounds like he’s directing. Ranmaru is depressingly into it. 

“What… Um. What are you doing?” Ranmaru has no idea what he’s doing, he just knows he wants more of this. Ranmaru’s palms are sweating, he’s trying to discretely wipe them on his pants, but Riichi is right there, and what if he thinks Ranmaru is gross? Or what if he thinks Ranmaru is asking stupid questions? What if he _stops_?

“I’m going to blow you,” Riichi says matter of factly. One of his hands is already busy getting the top button open on Ranmaru’s jeans. “Unless you don’t want me to?” 

Ranmaru stares at him. He knows he’s doing the stupid wide-eyed stare again, but his mind has gone completely blank. “Y-y-you,” he stutters. “M-m-me? Now? Here?”

Riichi has a blush of pink dusting his face and his eyes are bright, so he’s not unmoved by this. Riichi… Riichi likes kissing him? Maybe? Riichi’s hands seem sure. He definitely knows what he’s doing. But he pauses when Ranmaru speaks. “I’m pretty good at it,” Riichi says, voice low. He’s standing so close to Ranmaru. “You’ll like it, I promise.” 

“I…” Ranmaru swallows, hard. “Okay,” he squeaks. Every single part of his body is burning in shame. He’s going to lose his virginity on university ground, practically in public, in a break between shooting scenes for a modern drama, to an older guy who probably won’t want to do any of the stuff Ranmaru has dreamt about — like hold hands and share food and go to see fireworks and kiss when they’re alone. If Riichi wants any of that, he probably doesn’t want it with Ranmaru. It’s not how he thought his first time would go, but… His pulse is pounding in his ears, he’s harder than he’s ever been before, and he _wants_.

Riichi pulls his scarf off, lays it carefully down on the ground, and then he’s kneeling in front of Ranmaru, pulling Ranmaru’s jeans down, and then his boxers. Ranmaru whines when the cold air hits his erection. Riichi looks up at him. “Don’t touch the hair,” he says sternly, and Ranmaru nods dumbly. 

He starts by licking him from root to tip, and Ranmaru jams his fist in his mouth to silence the involuntary sounds he’s making. Nobody has ever touched him like this before. Nobody but himself has ever put their hands on his cock either, and Riichi’s doing that now, holding him in place as he bobs his head down and takes him into his mouth. 

It’s a miracle that Ranmaru doesn’t come straight away. 

He’s moaning around his fist, noises escaping even though he’s trying to keep them suppressed. He’s not sure what to do with his free hand so he presses it against the stone wall, scrambling to stay upright. There’s nothing he can really dig his fingers into, but he tries, pushing loose bits of mortar aside with his fingertips. He can’t think when Riichi sucks, taking more and more of Ranmaru’s cock, until he moves his hand from Ranmaru’s cock to his hip, leaving both hands clenched around Ranmaru’s hips, keeping him in place. 

Ranmaru really wants to thrust. His body seems to know what it wants better than Ranmaru himself does, but when he twitches a little, straining against Riichi’s grip, Riichi makes a disapproving little noise and flicks his eyes up in a clear warning. Ranmaru stills immediately. 

He doesn’t want Riichi to stop. It’s desperately important that Riichi doesn’t stop. 

He wants to come. He needs to come, but he also doesn’t want Riichi to stop. He doesn’t want any of this to end. It’s not how he’d imagined losing his virginity, maybe, but it’s good anyway. This is real. This is him and Riichi, and Riichi is sucking his cock, and he seems to like it, he looks like he does, and Ranmaru definitely likes it. 

The orgasm sneaks up on him; he knows he should warn Riichi because that seems like the polite thing to do, but one second he’s staring down at Riichi’s blond head in amazement and the next he’s coming. Riichi makes an inarticulate sound when Ranmaru starts coming, but he keeps his mouth on his cock until Ranmaru is spent. 

Ranmaru collapses against the wall when Riichi pulls off. His lips are a slightly darker pink than usual and a little swollen. _I did that_ , Ranmaru thinks giddily. 

Riichi tilts his head back, looking up — looking at the clock tower, Ranmaru realizes — then nods to himself. “Seven minutes to go.” He starts to get back up, but pauses when Ranmaru throws a hand out towards him. “What?”

“Y-y-you didn’t… Don’t you… Shouldn’t I…”

“We don’t have the time,” Riichi says. He’s back on his feet, eyes distant, mind already on the movie they’re shooting. 

Ranmaru tries not to be disappointed. “Okay,” he says, voice small. He wonders if he did something wrong. Maybe that’s why Riichi doesn’t want him to get him off. It’s probably his fault somehow. 

He pulls his boxers up, then his jeans. His hands are shaking as he tries to get the button into the hole. He doesn’t want to see Riichi walk off like this meant nothing to him. It probably didn’t, Ranmaru knows that. But that doesn’t mean Ranmaru wants to see it. 

At least he’ll have a couple of minutes to collect himself before he has to face the others and pretend nothing happened. 

Riichi had kissed him and sucked him off. It doesn’t seem quite real. But it had happened. His skin is still tingling a little. His cock is damp in his boxers. His hips are probably going to have finger shaped bruises by the morning. He has physical proof that it had happened, he didn’t just imagine it. He chokes down a sob, feeling stupid. He doesn’t regret it. He really doesn’t. He just stupidly wishes that Riichi liked him back, at least a little. 

“Hey, Ranmaru…” Riichi sounds hesitant, and Ranmaru jerks his head up in surprise. He’d thought Riichi had already gone. Riichi has his arms folded over his chest, hands in his armpits. He’s rocking back on his heels a little. It makes him seem weirdly young. 

Ranmaru swipes his hands over his eyes, hoping Riichi hasn’t seen. “Yes?” He smiles tremulously. 

“Do you like pastries?” 

“Yes?” Ranmaru says uncertainly. “…Did you want me to get you some?” 

Riichi shakes his head, only to nod a second later. “Are you free this Thursday?”

“I think so?” 

“I’ll see you at _Le Petit Chat Noir_ then. Two o’clock? I have a class first.” Riichi has stilled, waiting for Ranmaru’s reply. 

“Okay?” Ranmaru isn’t sure what’s going on. Riichi wants to see him again? Riichi wants pastries? Riichi wants Ranmaru to pay for his pastries? But that’s… Ranmaru’s eyes widen. “That’s a date!”

Riichi smiles at that. “Yes,” he agrees. “But right now we have to get back to the movie. Don’t forget the coat!”


End file.
